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Characters

Feliz

Frances Watson

Large animal veteranarian, and handy person at the ranch. Doctor McCoy and Temple Grandin in one body, and knows it. Likes precision in language. Fiercely protective, especially of animal rights and the rights of those who cannot speak for themselves.

Gaby Pererra-Perez

Lives in the uplands of Merida with their spouse. Knows the Popul Vuh.

Gamers of Loretto

Located near the hamlet of Loretto in Nelson County, Kentucky, not far from the Abbey of Gethsemane. Populated by ancient LGBTQ+ “Sisters” with names like “Sister Archive”, “Sister Network”, and “Sister Model”, reflecting their roles within the convent.

The Convent of the Sisters of Loretto is a real place. In the fictional history of the Rocket Ranch, in 2020, during the world COVID-19 pandemic, the Sisters of Loretto (again, this is not true, just made up for the story), the Sisters turned to cryptocurrency mining as a source of revenue, using old donated PC hardware.

The Convent made bank off their crypto-mining until one Sister read Monk’s Pond (“Trappist Cheese!”, 1968) by Thomas Merton, themself moved to anger over the Abbey of Gethsemane’s purchase of an expensive offset press. Merton used the press to print his rebel poem denouncing its purchase. The Sister, 80 years old and confined to a wheelchair, brought the copy of Monk’s Pond to dinner, raised a fit, and overnight, the cryptomining operation was suspended on moral and ecological grounds. A day later, Sister’s best friend suggested that the dormant computing stack be used to do good, in the cause of computationally intensive citizen science.

Like Bletchley Park, the Convent is a haven for computing history tourists. The sisters keep a subtle watch, and recruit who they choose. Sometimes people show up and apply for the position.

One of the Convent’s failed pledges was Rad, who arrived on a vision quest years ago, and confessed a desire to quit the traveling life and retire to sequestered life. Sister 0 refrained from chasing Rad from the room with tears of laughter, instead sending Rad back out into the world Rad so much loved traveling, but with a mission that Rad could occasionally bring home: cutting edge, skunkworks quantum computing modules.

As a result, the Gamers of Loretto have one of the most powerful quantum computers in the world, all powered by a water wheel on the Salt River, which also cools the cluster.

Jo Stapledon

Wallabologist from Melbourne. Expert in marsupials. Can ride a horse.

Krys

Tech officer aboard Inanna-7. Wants to help. All the time. Knows they can help, all the time. Has more ideas than time. When other people are slow, Krys thinks it’s because they’re understimulated, so Krys has developed clever joketelling as a tic, but drops it instantly and goes to 100% Mister Rogers mode whenever Krys feels a threat to the mental well being of a crewmate. Bender and the crew have had their lives saved by Krys’ attention to detail, more than once, and joining together to applaud and/or mock Krys’ appalling ideas of humor is a matter of crew camaraderie, with Krys definitely included in the fun. Like R2-D2, if you could understand R2-speke. Sassy, saves the day, has a parting joke (even if dark) at the end, to comfort the afflicted and afflict the comfortable.

Little Pooper

Wallaby, descendent of Soviet-era Cuban uplift experiments. Good for stealing cameras, overall cuteness, and kicking the stuffing out of mission-critical systems on its first foray into microgravity.

MaryLiz Bender

Leader of the Rocket Patrol. Named for an ancestor born in the 20th century.

Merl

Head ranch hand. Reports to Frances.

The Rawhide (from “Buckaroo Banzai”) of the piece. Jules Verne’s action hero, e.g. Ned Land in 20,000 Leagues. Merl’s past is shrouded in mystery. Merl joined the Rocket Ranch after the car Merl was driving broke down a mile away. Merl checked into the Rocket Ranch and never left.

Is the one to say “now wait a minute!” to the scientists and engineers of the Ranch, and ask for clarification. More often than not, Merl’s questions lead to new insights, or termination of dead areas of inquiry, from the other members of the team. Everyone knows that about Merl, which is why everyone gets so quiet when they hear the sound of Merl’s voice.

Once sealed an oil well with a nuke, after it accidentally became Merl’s judgement call, saving countless wildlife. The Rocket Ranchers are scarecely surprised when Merl casually brings these things up to suggest something picked up in practical work experience: even among polymaths, Merl has done practical work in the most different fields, and it turns out the Rocket Patrol ain’t even Merl’s first brainiac rodeo.

PJ McClintock

Cave scientist at WKU.

Rad

Rover, raver, coffee addict, and assigned head of the Solar System’s timekeeping standards authority. Like DJ Qualls in The Core, can hack into anything, but has parties to attend, unlike DJ Qualls. Is on good terms with the Gamers of Loretto, an old convent of LGBTQ+ friendly “Sisters” in Loretto, Kentucky.

Sem

Class clown of the Inanna-7 mission. Highly OCD, which is part of why Bender chose them. Sem’s OCD includes a compulsion to uplift the spirits of their crewmates.